I find it difficult
Surrendering
To love.
I spent that day
With a white robe
Over my head.
And two white flags
For each hand.
I wasn’t trying
To be morbid
or anything.
It was just
My way of saying,
I was trying.
It was difficult to do
Anything else
That Sunday.
While waiting for her
To Christian me
As something
Loved.
It would have been
A great honor.
And in a way
It still was,
Being so close
To something.
On the edge.
But of course
It didn’t happen.
It may have been
That what I said
Was tainted,
Tainted by
Reckless thoughts.
If it didn’t come to mind
That she could just say it,
That she loved me.
And not actually mean it.
Maybe.
Maybe I could have kept
My mouth shut.
This is just
My way of saying,
I was trying.
So I was
trying.
